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Monday, June 17, 2013

People To Remember at the End of the Year

As the year winds down and finals are underway, I thought it would be nice to salute the people who really make the academic world go 'round.

1. The secretaries.
These (usually) ladies are the heart of the school.  They keep everyone else pumping and moving through those  hallways.  They know about everyone and everything that goes on, they take care of details that no one else sees, and they are the face of the school.  They have an overwhelming amount of demand to meet every day, so I think we can all agree that a little 'thank you' is in order.

2. The cafeteria workers.
The mornings were a mad dash for me so I rarely packed a lunch but would buy in the school cafeteria. This year I had a weird schedule, as well as a mild form of anxiety during each lunch block of 250 students, so I usually tried to sneak down to the cafeteria for lunch when the workers were cleaning and prepping for the next batch of unruly, ravenous teenagers.  They always treated me with kindness and consideration, and were ready for a laugh.  The cafeteria people seem to be exempt from the school politics and so they are a breath of fresh air.  So hats off to you, ladies, but of course keep those hair nets on.

3. The parents.
If you have had a chance to interact at all with any parents, the end of the year is a great time to say a friendly farewell.  Parents appreciate feeling like you are working with them, and for them, and a brief email to say 'have a great summer' will tie up the year for them in a pretty little bow.  Bury the hatchet.  Even if you have to pretend, what is the harm in allowing them to think that maybe their wretched child wasn't so wretched after all?  Unless of course they have younger siblings.


Friday, June 14, 2013

6 Annoying Signs That You're a Teacher

6. You suddenly believe in voodoo as you put a hex on the person that walked away from the copy machine without fixing the paper jam they created.
5. You realize 'loaning' a pencil to a student is like loaning $20 to a wino.
4. Index cards are so rare there is an insider trading ring in the supply closet.
3. You have a love/hate relationship with movies like 'Stand and Deliver' and 'Freedom Writers.'
2. People who have no clue what your job actually entails decide your salary, your hours, and your retirement.
1. Dry erase markers never seem to last longer than two weeks.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Students' Most Hated Phrase

Today I was reviewing for our final exam when a student asked me when to use a certain grammar structure, one that we have been using for 3/4 of the year.  One that I have reviewed over. and over. and over again.  Most recently yesterday.  And he asked as if this were a legitimate question that needed clarifying.  Three days before our exam.

So I was concerned.  When teachers field questions that to them seem obvious, or even needless, it is difficult not to show a level of such concern or annoyance.  To be honest, I was very annoyed.  This is a structure that students see the level before mine and, added to it, the majority of our level.  So I answer the question and say,

"You should know this."

Because he should!

Flashback to yesterday after school as I'm talkin shop with another teacher.  He remarks how in the final exam review period it can be frustrating to see how many students ask thoughtless questions that have been discussed all year long.  We commiserate and feel much better knowing we are not the only ones to have an intellectually delinquent set of children.  And then he remarks that he has actually read that a student's most hated phrase by teachers is, in fact, you guessed it: You should know this.

Why? Because they should know this! It! Whatever 'it' is! However, that doesn't change how students - all students, apparently - view this statement.

What we say: You should know this.
What they hear: You are stupid.

And today when those words came so effortlessly out of my own mouth, like four little innocent messengers of truth and justice, how I didn't know that they would be received as four insufferable harbingers of mockery.

So I stopped the lesson and asked the kids what they thought about that phrase.   And being high schoolers - extremely sophisticated and scholarly - they thought about it and said the exact same thing.

"Makes us feel stupid."

Eloquently put.

We then discussed various ways to achieve the actual meaning (I am concerned that you do not know this information after using it so often and for so long) without the added implication (...you idiot.) We agreed that the best way to do this is to explain the thinking behind those four words instead of using them, even if it takes longer.  That way the students will understand you but not feel berated.

What about you? Can you think of something you hated more than this? Is there nothing wrong with this phrase?