When You Teach Something That's, well, Wrong

Heaven forbid, I know - you are an expert! Well, you should try to be anyway.

It's a delicate balance.  As a teacher, you want to be in control, but not arrogant; human, but not an amateur.  Your persona should be confident enough to not doubt what you're saying, but reasonable enough to make room for errors.

How is this done in an average class?

Example 1: You're a math teacher explaining the solution to a word-problem on the board.  You arrive at the answer, but something doesn't look quite right.  Was that 236 watermelons? Or 336?  You stop yourself and take a second look.  You announce to the class, "Hold on..." and this let's them know that YOU know something is amiss.  You re-work the problem to yourself and find the mistake - you circle it in red or simply cross it out and re-write it: either way, you found the error.  "That looks better.  Any questions?" You smile and move on.

Example 2: You're an English teacher writing a sample open-response on the board.  You sweep over a tricky word (receive/recieve, for example) and just write what comes naturally.  Only this time you don't catch the mistake - a student does.  "Um, shouldn't that be R-E-C-E-I-V-E Mr. Hogarty?"  You look down at your script and think for a second.  You realize where you went wrong, draw a line through the word, and correct your spelling.  "Ah, yes, Ethan, good eye.  Thank you." Smile, move on.

Example 3: You're a history teacher and you've made a hand-out as an outline for significant events of the 20th century.  Under the time-line you've written that World War I started in 1915.  *gasp* Whether that was a typo or not, once you realize your mistake, that takes a whole-class shut down.  "Excuse me, can everyone turn their attention to the beginning of WWI... yes, that's a typo, please cross it out and write in 1914.  I'm very sorry about that." Smile, and move on.

As a role model for the students in your yearly care, the issue here is not IF you make a mistake, but WHEN you do, how you handle it.  Don't try to cover it up.  Don't just leave it be.  Show your attention to detail, show you care about the little (or big) things, and show that you can take the correction - even if it is by a 13-year-old.  The way that you respond to criticism can set the tone for the class.  You don't have perfect students, and they do not have a perfect teacher.  Mistakes are a part of it all, but you don't have to wallow in embarrassment or self-pity.  Admit it, smile, and move on.

You're Welcome, Ben Affleck

Happy Teacher Appreciation Day!

I find it exciting that Ben Affleck thanked me personally, well, electronically, but still.  I know his tweet was directed at me.  Along with other celebrities like Pitbull, Paula Abdul, and the Disney company, Ben really appreciates my work our work.

So does:

Chipotle!

Amazon Prime!

Banana Republic!

and way, way more! 

Go check out the freebies you can get today and in some cases the rest of this week.

This is a great article from last year called "Imagine if we celebrated teachers as much as athletes" which I'm sure you will find stimulating.  Or frustrating.

What (Not) to Wear

Have you been to the gym lately? No, I wasn't implying anything... I just mean, What are people wearing to the gym these days? Anything from biking shorts to yoga pants, tank tops to cut-off Tees.  I've seen tops and bottoms with holes in them, slogans from odd to vulgar.  And while we're on the subject, I was once running on the treadmill next to a guy who smelled so foul I had to get off and do weights instead.

Have you been sleeping lately? No, I'm not implying you look tired, I just... Well, of course you've been sleeping.  Perhaps not well, but still. What do you wear to bed? Keep it PG.  Maybe some fluffy pjs, or an old favorite shirt, or sweat pants that shrunk in the wash.

What are you wearing right now? No, that's not a pick-up line.  Wherever you are, reading New Teachers Newsletter, whether it be the Pentagon or the Boston Globe, in your favorite leather or velvet wing back chair, I'm sure you are in the quiet majority.  Those of you who are at university or in your first years of teaching, perhaps you're in a cotton shirt and jeans, or leggings and an over-sized sweater.

Now, what do those three experiences have in common? All three qualify as TYDWTWAAT:

Things You Don't Wear To Work As A Teacher.

I don't believe that clothes make the man, but I also believe that first impressions count.  I do not believe you need to wear new, expensive clothing to make a good impression, but I do believe your clothes need to be neat, clean, and modern.  

This is a truth at once unnerving and unavoidable: your students will notice what you wear way more than you will realize.  I once had a high school class announce that they knew if I was in the building by the orange coat I owned, which I would shed and hang on my chair.  I didn't even know they had seen it, but I guess I wore it often enough.

While you aren't dressing to impress your students, you should certainly care how they view you.  If you wear yoga pants and hoodies, do you think your students will view you as a professional or view you as a peer?  If your shirt is always untucked and your pants have holes in the cuffs, will you command respect or derision? And I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but everyone looks at your butt when you write on the board. Do you really want it revealing your unmentionables?

Today, a very sad portion of society views any item of clothing as an acceptable option for public display.  This is not a viewpoint you will have. You will look like you take pride in your appearance and you care about how you are viewed by the families you serve.

Take a cue from your principal.  How does she dress? If you are called into her office on a whim, will you shrink a little bit in your outfit, or stand tall? Why wouldn't you dress the same as you did for your interview? Show her that how you presented yourself that day was true, inside and out.

I once worked with a teacher who drove this point home for me. She dressed exactly as she taught: haphazardly.  Her clothes never matched, her shoes were fraying at the toe, and her shirts were always too tight.  And surprise, surprise, her instructions were unclear, her lessons were random, and her expectations were low. 

So maybe your school has casual Friday.  Guess what? Your first year calendar will show business-class Monday-Friday.  But Mr. VeteranTeacher wears jeans, you say.  When you are a veteran teacher, you can too.

You may have heard the expression, Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.  Here at New Teachers Newsletter let's say, Dress for the job you have, if you want to keep it.  Maybe your clothes won't be the reason you're hired, but let it be one more reason to keep you.

Summertime and the Living's... Uneasy?

I am a huge John Mayer fan.  Perhaps you aren't, but stick around. We'll move on from him soon enough. (Let's leave his philandering personal life out of this!)  He plays a song called "Wildfire" and in part he croons,

"a little of bit of summer is what the whole year's all about."

While 12 weeks of sunshine, grilling, beach days and blue skies sure help us New Englanders forget about our six months of winter, as teachers, do we go a bit too far? Are July and August the months we live for? Even worse - do we teach our students to do the same thing? What message does that send to them?

I really like this teacher's post about why she stopped counting down to summer. She explains 5 reasons and the last is the most powerful for me: counting down to a certain day assumes that today cannot be as good as the future.

Believe you me, I've counted down in my day.  My wedding, for example.  Every trip to Disney World (yes, more than 1, or 5, or 13...).  The Paleo diet I did for the 28 days of last February.  Sometimes counting down helps me realize that the present order of things is only temporary.  It builds anticipation and expectation, which for a trip or other event can heighten the actual experience.

When we really think about counting down with our students to the end of school, I think we can all agree it creates a subtle atmosphere of discontent.   As a student, I start to think: If even the teachers can't wait to get out of here, why should I like school?  Why should I put effort into my last book report, because in 11 days it won't matter anyway?  If I'm the student that has an unhappy (or unsafe) home life, and school is my relief, how does this attitude affect me?  Now I feel even more out of place because I'm happy to be here when no one else is, not even the adults.

As a teacher it can be difficult to keep your motivation and energy when the windows are open, birds are singing, and you know you'll be having drinks on the deck in T minus two hours.  But we are being paid to do a job and I believe if it's worth doing, it's worth doing well.

Let's be happy about the weather and the activities, but let's embrace what we do with our kids.  Class outside? Nature scavenger hunt? Quiz review relay races?  Plant a garden? Field trips! Fresh air!  Resist the urge to coast through the last few weeks of school.  Try something new.  Keep looking for exciting ways to present your curriculum.  Make your students feel like you want them there.  And maybe at home we'll countdown, but let's make those final days count.

I don't like to say I told you so...

But I totes did.

Actually, Louis C.K. was right about Common Core - Ravitch

From Louis C.K.'s version of standardized tests:

                               "Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?"

This is one of the best articles I have read which frankly and succinctly summarizes 5 phases of your first year as a teacher.  Of course there may be details that do not apply to everyone but I think you will find it rather accurate.

Phases of First-Year Teaching

17 Aug 2011 - Ellen Moir

Articles

This article was originally written for publication in the newsletter for the California New Teacher Project, published by the California Department of Education (CDE), 1990.

First-year teaching is a difficult challenge. Equally challenging is figuring out ways to support and assist beginning teachers as they enter the profession. Since 1988 the Santa Cruz New Teacher Project has been working to support the efforts of new teachers. After supporting nearly 1,500 new teachers, a number of developmental phases have been noted. While not every new teacher goes through this exact sequence, these phases are very useful in helping everyone involved -- administrators, other support personnel, and teacher education faculty--in the process of supporting new teachers. These teachers move through several phases from anticipation, to survival, to disillusionment, to rejuvenation, to reflection; then back to anticipation. Here's a look at the stages through which new teachers move during that crucial first year. New teacher quotations are taken from journal entries and end-of-the-year program evaluations.

ANTICIPATION PHASE

The anticipation phase begins during the student teaching portion of preservice preparation. The closer student teachers get to completing their assignment, the more excited and anxious they become about their first teaching position. They tend to romanticize the role of the teacher and the position. New teachers enter with a tremendous commitment to making a difference and a somewhat idealistic view of how to accomplish their goals. "I was elated to get the job but terrified about going from the simulated experience of student teaching to being the person completely in charge." This feeling of excitement carries new teachers through the first few weeks of school.

SURVIVAL PHASE

The first month of school is very overwhelming for new teachers. They are learning a lot and at a very rapid pace. Beginning teachers are instantly bombarded with a variety of problems and situations they had not anticipated. Despite teacher preparation programs, new teachers are caught off guard by the realities of teaching. "I thought I'd be busy, something like student teaching, but this is crazy. I'm feeling like I'm constantly running. It's hard to focus on other aspects of my life."

During the survival phase, most new teachers struggle to keep their heads above water. They become very focused and consumed with the day-to-day routine of teaching. There is little time to stop and reflect on their experiences. It is not uncommon for new teachers to spend up to seventy hours a week on schoolwork.

Particularly overwhelming is the constant need to develop curriculum. Veteran teachers routinely reuse excellent lessons and units from the past. New teachers, still uncertain of what will really work, must develop their lessons for the first time. Even depending on unfamiliar prepared curriculum such as textbooks is enormously time consuming.

"I thought there would be more time to get everything done. It's like working three jobs: 7:30-2:30, 2:30-6:00, with more time spent in the evening and on weekends." Although tired and surprised by the amount of work, first-year teachers usually maintain a tremendous amount of energy and commitment during the survival phase, harboring hope that soon the turmoil will subside.

DISILLUSIONMENT PHASE

After six to eight weeks of nonstop work and stress, new teachers enter the disillusionment phase. The intensity and length of the phase varies among new teachers. The extensive time commitment, the realization that things are probably not going as smoothly as they want, and low morale contribute to this period of disenchantment. New teachers begin questioning both their commitment and their competence. Many new teachers get sick during this phase.

Compounding an already difficult situation is the fact that new teachers are confronted with several new events during this time frame. They are faced with back-to-school night, parent conferences, and their first formal evaluation by the site administrator. Each of these important milestones places an already vulnerable individual in a very stressful situation.

Back-to-school night means giving a speech to parents about plans for the year that are most likely still unclear in the new teacher's mind. Some parents are uneasy when they realize the teacher is just beginning and many times pose questions or make demands that intimidate a new teacher.

Parent conferences require new teachers to be highly organized, articulate, tactful and prepared to confer with parents about each student’s progress. This type of communication with parents can be awkward and difficult for a beginning teacher. New teachers generally begin with the idea that parents are partners in the learning process and are not prepared for parents' concerns or criticisms. These criticisms hit new teachers at a time of waning self-esteem.

This is also the first time that new teachers are formally evaluated by their principal. They are, for the most part, uncertain about the process itself and anxious about their own competence and ability to perform. Developing and presenting a "showpiece" lesson is time-consuming and stressful.

During the disillusionment phase classroom management is a major source of distress. "I thought I'd be focusing more on curriculum and less on classroom management and discipline. I'm stressed because I have some very problematic students who are low academically, and I think about them every second my eyes are open."

At this point, the accumulated stress of the first-year teacher, coupled with months of excessive time allotted to teaching, often brings complaints from family members and friends. This is a very difficult and challenging phase for new entries into the profession. They express self-doubt, have lower self-esteem and question their professional commitment. In fact, getting through this phase may be the toughest challenge they face as a new teacher.

REJUVENATION

The rejuvenation phase is characterized by a slow rise in the new teacher's attitude toward teaching. It generally begins in January. Having a winter break makes a tremendous difference for new teachers. It allows them to resume a more normal lifestyle, with plenty of rest, food, exercise, and time for family and friends. This vacation is the first opportunity that new teachers have for organizing materials and planning curriculum. It is a time for them to sort through materials that have accumulated and prepare new ones. This breath of fresh air gives novice teachers a broader perspective with renewed hope.

They seem ready to put past problems behind them. A better understanding of the system, an acceptance of the realities of teaching, and a sense of accomplishment help to rejuvenate new teachers. Through their experiences in the first half of the year, beginning teachers gain new coping strategies and skills to prevent, reduce, or manage many problems they are likely to encounter in the second half of the year. Many feel a great sense of relief that they have made it through the first half of the year. During this phase, new teachers focus on curriculum development, long-term planning and teaching strategies.

"I'm really excited about my story writing center, although the organization of it has at times been haphazard. Story writing has definitely revived my journals." The rejuvenation phase tends to last into spring with many ups and downs along the way. Toward the end of this phase, new teachers begin to raise concerns about whether they can get everything done prior to the end of school. They also wonder how their students will do on the tests, questioning once again their own effectiveness as teachers. "I'm fearful of these big tests. Can you be fired if your kids do poorly? I don't know enough about them to know what I haven't taught, and I'm sure it's a lot."

REFLECTION

The reflection phase beginning in May is a particularly invigorating time for first-year teachers. Reflecting back over the year, they highlight events that were successful and those that were not. They think about the various changes that they plan to make the following year in management, curriculum, and teaching strategies. The end is in sight, and they have almost made it; but more importantly, a vision emerges as to what their second year will look like, which brings them to a new phase of anticipation. "I think that for next year I'd like to start the letter puppets earlier in the year to introduce the kids to more letters."

It is critical that we assist new teachers and ease the transition from student teacher to full-time professional. Recognizing the phases new teachers go through gives us a framework within which we can begin to design support programs to make the first year of teaching a more positive experience for our new colleagues.

Standardized Test-Taking Makes Everyone Crazy

Do I believe in standardized tests? I have a problem with the question.  Here is a better one: Do I believe that standardized tests are accurate and reliable representations of what students know and are able to do?

No.

Perhaps that is a debate for another day.  One thing is for sure: the entire staff will act like they've been replaced by Agitated Exam Riot Police.

Schedules are rearranged, and re-rearranged; and in many cases obliterated altogether.  Classes are canceled.  Signs are posted at every door and hallway intersection. Teachers are forcibly moved from their classrooms and held hostage as exam proctors. Students are scarce in the hallway.  And don't you DARE to make the slightest bit of noise: the faculty will descend upon you and you will never be seen again.

Whether they support it or not, teachers are expected to make test-taking as painless as possible for their students.  We want to help them prepare, we want to help them focus, we want to allow them time and space to complete what is required of them. 

But it is a guarantee that teachers will therefore became a little... unbalanced.

I received an email from a test proctor asking for a bathroom break.  I walked down the hallway to her classroom and looked in the window - from behind me I heard a hissed whisper: "THEY"RE TESTING!" to which I politely turned and smiled.  I received a condescending look by another staff member in return and before further reproof could be had, the proctor opened the door in front of me and gratefully ran to the bathroom. 

Is it really necessary that we take the whole routine to such extremes? Don't children ever take tests while the rest of the world carries on? It seems that we are trying to create unreal circumstances under which children produce information on a scale which is proportionately unreal. 

What we really want is for children to learn, and we do need to assess their learning.  But how about we keep the tear gas at bay and be realistic? It is just a test.

Reading This Now

After having a very similar experience myself in a previous district, I find it rather interesting. It is, of course, highly subjective and one-sided; I would love to read a rebuttal.

Rated R for... Resign?

When I was in middle school, our social studies teacher wanted to show us Schindler’s List.  The idea was that words on a page can only go so far to communicate the horror of National Socialism.  Our teacher was trying to reach us through visual representations of those events.  Although the movie is rated R, the value of it seemingly outweighed the rating.  As an adult now, I get that.  As an adult then, my mother did not.

She was actually borderline outraged.  Which surprises me now, looking back, as my mother is one of the most eloquent, intellectually curious, and continually academic women I know.  The teacher had sent home a permission slip to watch the movie, and my mother not only refused to sign it, but also wrote a scathing letter of offense and explanation as to why I, a middle school student, would not be participating. 

In part, it read: “Even a conscience-less entertainment industry feels that this movie is inappropriate for children. You don’t need to watch graphic violence in order to build empathy.” Etc. etc.

And I wholeheartedly agree!  Because the world as we know it today is so filled with violence, death, and even emotional torture, I do not feel we need to expose young minds to movies which feature those things in a warped sense of awareness.  That is why the recent event in Mississippi of a veteran teacher using the movie “Dolan’s Cadillac” in her 10^th grade class is disturbing to me.

As a teacher now, I could debate the merits of showing an entire movie during precious class time as an issue of its own.  Don’t we always want more time with our students? Don’t they watch enough television and movies over the weekend?

I had another history teacher in high school who wanted to show us the movie Elizabeth to enhance our understanding of life and politics of the Tudor period.    This movie is also rated R.  This particular teacher decided ahead of time to show us only select portions of the movie, a few of which I still remember, in a tasteful and decidedly PG-rated fashion.  No permission slips.  No hate mail from parents.  And was it effective? Like I said, I still remember it.

This eliminated so many problems from the situation: angry parents, uncomfortable students, reprimanded teacher.  In Mississippi, this teacher caused an unintended situation for a few students:  there were some who were uncomfortable with the movie being shown, and as a result of their objection, there was an investigation and the teacher resigned.  Students supportive of the teacher and not offended by the movie (allegedly) subsequently harassed students who complained.   There are walkouts and campaigns to reinstate the teacher, with much support on social media for her case.

Now, not only did a few students (even one is too many!) feel uncomfortable watching the movie, but now they are being marginalized for reporting their feelings.  As teachers, we should be leaders of tolerance and exploration, but also leaders of safety and high moral compasses.  We need to set the example that glamorous actors and musicians so very rarely set: have a standard.

Perhaps the question shouldn’t so much be, what is the movie rated? But rather, is this movie worth my job?   

Teaching in the Digital Age: Down With Cursive!

I understand that teaching in the 21st century has dramatically changed as a result of the internet, social media, and advances in personal and widely-available technology.  Most of my elementary students have more gadgets and devices (tablets, mp3 players, gaming consoles) than my biweekly paycheck would afford.

If you have recently emerged from a rock, you will be interested to know that the teaching of cursive writing has been removed from many schools across the country. Taken from the IndyPost: "In 2011 Indiana State Board of Education made cursive writing optional and instead required computer keyboarding, in accordance with the national Common Core standards." Although that state, along with six others - California, Idaho, Kansas, Massachusetts, North Carolina, and Utah - are possibly fighting that mandate.

Notably, scientists are finding that cursive writing has a whole load of benefits that, until now, have not been given their spotlight. Psychology Today writes, "learning cursive is an important tool for cognitive development... the brain develops functional specialization that integrates both sensation, movement control, and thinking... fine motor control is needed over the fingers. Brain imaging studies show that cursive activates areas of the brain that do not participate in keyboarding."

For a certainty, learning to use a keyboard (with more than just your two pointing fingers) is a useful skill.  But should it be only at the expense of cursive that it is learned? Is there enough time in the curriculum to teach both? 

I sat down next to two of the cafeteria ladies today between classes, and they were filling out time sheets.  I was absolutely enthralled with their beautiful, elegant, refined cursive handwriting. My students can barely read what I write on the board in print. I almost felt guilty.

Maybe we can teach it in Art class? Before it's lost.

Urban Legends: cont.

Number 3; keep 'em comin!

This just shows you what they can't prepare you for in college:

I had taught for a few years but this is about the first time I taught elementary school.  I was considered a specialist so I went in to the third grade classrooms as opposed to having my own room.  

There was one student in the class named Maeve who never spoke.  He was so shy I almost didn't know what his voice sounded like.  One day in December (our year starts in September) I was splitting up the class to do boys vs. girls. I put Maeve in his group and I heard another student say, Why are you putting Maeve with us? My impression was that these boys had something against Maeve.  But I brushed it aside and said something like, Hey we all work together no matter what.

Later I told the classroom teacher and she got red in the face.  "Maeve is a girl."

Urban Legends: cont.

Here's another...

The very first time I was observed at my job, I was teaching a low level math class in a high school.  I was pretty nervous about it so I leveled with the students. 

"Okay guys. Today in class I want 100% participation.  If you don't know the answer, raise your left hand.  I will not call on you. If you know the answer, raise your right hand."

When the principal came in, he was very impressed with the level of participation of my students.  

Urban Legends

I am collecting stories from the trenches.  If you have an interesting (or sad, or funny, or cautionary) story about a teacher/teaching experience please forward it along. Continue reading below for the first contribution. (I don't know if any of these are true, and in this next case not even legal, but they sure make a good story)

Right after college I got a job teaching math in a suburban high school.  I was the youngest, with the least experience, and I was male.  Coincidentally I still am, male I mean.  Anyway I was excited to have a job so when I was assigned the lowest level math courses I didn't bat an eyelash.  But when I received my class lists the other teachers took one look and pointed to one name in particular, and the message was clear: Watch out for him! 

The reason became clear when classes started.  I was trying to teach a lesson when said student (who happened to be taller than me and pound for pound an attitude to match) kept fooling around in the back. 

"Hey, " I called, "Pass in your paper."

The student stood up, rolled his paper into a ball, and took a free throw shot from the last row, which missed and rolled onto the floor.

I tried to keep my cool, turned and said, "Walk over here and pick that up."

The student took his time and strolled over to me.  He stood right in front of my face and was a full head taller.  He looked down at me and said, "You pick it up."

In a split second decision that probably could have sent me to jail, I grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him into the hall.  I roughly pinned him to the lockers and he protested the whole way. Because of all the noise several teachers opened their doors and looked into the hall.  When they saw me with this student, they smiled and quietly shut their doors.

I got right up in his face. "I don't know who you think you are, but in my class you follow my rules.  If not, we're going to have a problem.  Are you ready to get back in there and pick up that paper?"

The element of surprise must have been on my side, because he agreed.  Maybe he thought I was crazy, and crazy people are not to be messed with. We walked back into class and for the rest of the year I didn't have any problems with him.



 

Parent/Teacher Conferences

The Ugly Truth: Should I Admit I Have A Favorite?... or Unfavorite?

As you may have noticed, this blog is not entirely pedagogically sound.  Bloom forgive me but I tackle the big issues! I dig deep to uncover the truth! No matter how good bad or ugly. 

And this is why today I am discussing whether in fact teachers have favorite students, unfavorite students, or if they admit to having either.

Guilty as charged.  On both counts.

I literally strutted into my first year touting the addage: All students are created equal, under Me, with education and justice for all.  I bristled at the idea of partiality. I took an oath to treat all students equally, on pain of death.

So I'm back from the grave, warning all of you to forget making such an oath with yourself.  Because when it comes to teaching, and you strip off the identity badge and close up your grade book for the night, we are human after all.  It is impossible not to feel more of a connection with one student (or several) that you do not share with everyone. 

For every year I've taught, I can remember my ahem favorites.  I can also remember a few unfavorites.  The important thing to remember about admitting that you have both is never showing you have both.  Because students are keen to pick up on any hint of favoritism (or unfavoritism) and that not only causes hurt feelings and resentment, it is unprofessional and immature.  When it comes to professional duties or teacher/student relationships, such as grading, privileges, or even bathroom breaks, these feelings need to stay in check and on the shelf.

Notably, I have also found that the more I try to like every kid equally, the more equally I seem to like every kid.  It is certainly possible to start out feeling ambivalent to a kid, or even feeling negative towards one, and then as the year goes on to change those feelings into positive ones.  

But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can't quite get there with one or two students. You may be faced with a child whose personality is simply not compatible with yours. As was put ever so eloquently to me by a veteran teacher recently: He's just an unlikeable kid.  

No One Gets Rich Teaching...

.... But no one leads a richer life.




(thanks PBS)

Parent Night: The Vaccuum

Don't get sucked in!

I have always found Parent Night/Open House as a fun way to do a little PR work.  There have been reports - shocking, I know - that students are not always honest about the teacher they have.  So Parent Night gives you an opportunity to show that you are not the horrible beast that someone's little cherub has described you to be.

However, this is not the night to get into an all-out debate over a student's performance or latest test grade and the validity of your rubric. NO.  Tonight you smile, you charm, you are happy to meet everyone (yes, every single parent thrills you to high heaven!) and ecstatic that they showed up.

But you do NOT get sucked into a conversation about someone's specific child. There have been reports - shocking, I know - that some parents do not realize their child is not the center of your universe.  "For everything there is an appointed time."  So if you find yourself being backed into a corner, I would say something like: "I'm glad you mentioned that.  I'd like to speak further about this but we are not allowed to discuss much in detail at this time.  Let's set up a time for a conference."  Voila! Crisis averted.

The Best Advice You Will Get All Year.... Priceless

Six boxes of colored pencils: $10.00

New clothes for picture day: $52.00

A current year agenda book: $12.00

The advice you get from New Teachers Newsletter.... priceless.

You will get a lot of advice from people in education over your career.  Some of it is worthless, some of it is valuable, but there will be something out there that is without a price tag.  For me it was never given.  If there was one thing I wish someone had told me my first year, it is this:

Do not be a friend.

Everyone wants to be the cool teacher.  EVERYONE.  If you say you don't, you're lying. And that means you want to be the cool teacher even more because the perception is that the cool teacher can't care about being the cool teacher. So, stop lying to yourself, because you aren't fooling any of us.

I distinctly remember my first day: I remember how the classroom was set up, what I was wearing, and exactly how I was leaning against the teacher's desk with ten minutes to go in the period, just shooting the breeze with the 8th graders, because we had discussed the syllabus and, h'well, that's all we needed to cover the first day.  Because I was, after all, the cool teacher.

I also remember how the rest of that year the students grew increasingly unruly, loud, obnoxious, and rude.  I will always remember the bad days of that class, even though there were so many of them.  Starting off relaxed and trying to establish order after that did not work for me.  So please, please - Please! Learn from my mistakes and do not try to be a friend.

As an authority figure you need to establish authority.  That means communicating the expectations of your class as early as possible. Some will argue that means no smiling! no laughing! no fun!  I do not subscribe to that theory because that is not me.  However, classroom management is not a natural skill, and depending on your group of students that skill will need to be refined by the year.

You can do this in a friendly way.  But that does not mean you are a friend.  Establishing rules is vital in any relationship: parent/child, husband/wife, employer/employee, even between friends (did you honestly go to that party and not invite me?) so don't feel like a meanie.  Because the 'cool teacher' who has no rules always ends up being the hated teacher when they try to crack down on the ridiculosity that becomes their class.

There you go, the best advice you will get all year.  

I accept Mastercard and Visa.

Too Cool for School

....AND it's back to school time!

If the summer seemed like just a long weekend to you, ease back into it with these fun ideas for back-to-school from the Boston Globe online.

(My favorite is the hidden-pencil-holding notebook)

And Now For Something Completely Different

For those of you whose first (or second or third or fourth) year positions were not the right fit, this post 's for you!

It is a sign of professionalism that you can acknowledge the square-peg-in-a-round-hole feeling, and get out.  It takes guts.  This economy is no joke and most teachers are ambitious, dedicated folk.  We don't like to quit.  We don't like to even be bad at anything.  (And we certainly don't like to be, um, fired.) We are used to success! So I get how scary it is to chalk a tough year up to a bad relationship and move on. Here are some tips on how to get over a bad break-up and get back in the game! There's plenty of fish in the sea!

DO NOT: Wallow. The first step is to ditch the 'failure' feeling.  You cannot change the past so there is no use jumping off the memory wagon and rolling around in muddy self-pity.

DO: Reflect. Try to identify a few reasons why this year did not go as well as you would have liked.  What would you do differently the next time around? Because there will be a next time.

DO NOT: Slander.  If your pride is wounded the last thing you should do is go hog-wild posting negative comments on social media about your former district, your colleagues, the superintendent, the parents, whatever you deem the culprit of your demise.

DO: Confide.  Speak with a trusted colleague - someone in the industry - and discuss your grievances.  Alcohol may be useful for this purpose.

DO NOT: Quit.  Maybe this last year wasn't your best. It can only go up from here! Resist the urge to enroll in community college and become an accountant or a nurse.

DO: Apply.  Get back in the saddle* and go on interviews with the knowledge that you are one year wiser, one year stronger, one year better than you were before.

I was chatting with a veteran teacher about a particularly bad year that left me feeling shaken.  Part of me really wanted to stay in the district and right my wrongs, clear things up, and come out on top.

"Don't be ridiculous. That would be like teaching a pig to sing.  You'll work yourself to death with no results and you'll only annoy the pig."

So here goes.  New district, new school, new students. New you.






*I was really feeling the western rodeo vibe in this post, apparently