Or when he/she seems to find you this way.
This is a delicate situation, akin to holding the pin of a grenade. At least I would imagine so from what I've observed in movies as I am wholly opposed to warfare and violence in all forms. I will address this only in regard to a colleague, and not a member of the administration, which is a separate issue and requires a different strategy.
I will guide you through the stages of action (or inaction), the benefit of each stage, and its expiration date.
1. Ignorance
Stage: You pretend there is no problem whatsoever and act like each injustice is the first. Each time a wrong is committed you sweep it under the proverbial rug and move on.
Benefit: You are viewed by others as laid back and easy to get along with. You do not bear the responsibility of confrontation and the disruption of the status quo.
Expiration Date: The behavior of this colleague is preventing you from fulfilling your role as an effective teacher.
2. The Mirage
Stage: You employ the power of positive thinking. You convince yourself that this person is not aware of the transgression or has no malicious motives and therefore it is YOUR attitude that needs to change. You 'fake it 'til you make it' and try to leave all pre-conceived notions behind.
Benefit: With some effort you may see your colleague in a different light. You will develop a view point that enriches your professional relationship and a skill that will be of use at other times in your career.
Expiration Date: The effort it takes to alter your natural prejudices yields minimal returns. You still find yourself cringing when you see your colleague in the hallway and you tune him/her out in meetings.
3. Hotline
Stage: You find a (read:one, experienced) trusted colleague who is without question a vault when it comes to information. You discuss your issue candidly and communicate your desire to remedy the situation.
Benefit: This person may be able to offer some clarifying background information, shed light on an area in which you could improve to minimize the issue, and provide confidential commissary dialogue that will comfort you or at least assure you that you are not the problem. Or maybe you are.
Expiration Date: The therapy sessions are not enough to quell the rising tide of insults or injuries. None of the suggestions of your sage impact the situation to allow you to concentrate on teaching.
4. Confrontation
Stage: You step up to the plate and face the issue head-on by addressing it with said colleague. Run from adversity? Not you. You use lots of 'I' statements such as "I feel incompetent when you ask to check my lesson plans every week."
Benefit: This is a tactic that will yield immediate results. You may be able to resolve a misunderstanding or prevent a reoccurrence simply by standing up for yourself.
Expiration Date: Your friendly chat ends up in a screaming match. Not to be done while emotions are high. Accusatory confrontations are never fruitful.
Perhaps you have another tactic you'd like to use - if so, let me know - or a combination of those presented above. Either way, know that you are not alone. Suffer on, suffragette!
