The Ugly Truth: Should I Admit I Have A Favorite?... or Unfavorite?

As you may have noticed, this blog is not entirely pedagogically sound.  Bloom forgive me but I tackle the big issues! I dig deep to uncover the truth! No matter how good bad or ugly. 

And this is why today I am discussing whether in fact teachers have favorite students, unfavorite students, or if they admit to having either.

Guilty as charged.  On both counts.

I literally strutted into my first year touting the addage: All students are created equal, under Me, with education and justice for all.  I bristled at the idea of partiality. I took an oath to treat all students equally, on pain of death.

So I'm back from the grave, warning all of you to forget making such an oath with yourself.  Because when it comes to teaching, and you strip off the identity badge and close up your grade book for the night, we are human after all.  It is impossible not to feel more of a connection with one student (or several) that you do not share with everyone. 

For every year I've taught, I can remember my ahem favorites.  I can also remember a few unfavorites.  The important thing to remember about admitting that you have both is never showing you have both.  Because students are keen to pick up on any hint of favoritism (or unfavoritism) and that not only causes hurt feelings and resentment, it is unprofessional and immature.  When it comes to professional duties or teacher/student relationships, such as grading, privileges, or even bathroom breaks, these feelings need to stay in check and on the shelf.

Notably, I have also found that the more I try to like every kid equally, the more equally I seem to like every kid.  It is certainly possible to start out feeling ambivalent to a kid, or even feeling negative towards one, and then as the year goes on to change those feelings into positive ones.  

But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can't quite get there with one or two students. You may be faced with a child whose personality is simply not compatible with yours. As was put ever so eloquently to me by a veteran teacher recently: He's just an unlikeable kid.