When a Student Has a Crush on You

I once received a love letter from an anonymous student.  Make no mistake: flattery is most uncomfortable when given by a 14 year old child (I repeat, CHILD). Not only was it unsettling but it was slightly embarrassing.  Was I doing something wrong? Was I dressing provocatively? Was I unconsciously inviting this attention?

I first confided in a friend/colleague.  We shared our amusement/ revulsion but I knew it was important to be open about this. Keeping it a secret is a huge no-no.  If you don't it might look weird if advances increase and you've been hiding it. Then you'll be in big doo-doo. And the odds of you getting invited back next year are only so-so.

*Ahem*

I then brought it to the attention of the principal.  I mean I didn't shatter the glass on the fire alarm and go shrieking down the hall into her office, but on my free period I approached her and gave her the note.  It was important for me to see her reaction.

She basically rolled her eyes and shrugged, and asked if I knew who it was.  Fortunately I did not. She told me to keep an eye out and let her know if it happened again.  That was it and I felt immense relief.

This is honestly the best case scenario for this situation: you don't know who it is. Therefore you can't really do much about it.  When you DO know who it is, that is when you have more of a responsibility.

I once had a student who practically followed me around. This student's friends made comments about his feelings in front of both of us and I seemed to be the only one who was uncomfortable.  Despite several references to my spouse and a concerted effort to keep my distance, I couldn't shake him.  So you know what I did?

Nothing.

The sad truth is that you have very little control over your appeal to students, you irresistible minx, you!

As long as you are dressing professionally and keeping clear boundaries of personal space and neutral comments, you are fulfilling your responsibility.  Try not to feed in to the flattery and be aware that you are not encouraging it or even flirting back.  Other than that, you have no recourse.

When it comes to matters of the heart, stay away from your students.

Any advice? What would you do?